it always comes back to you
The story always comes back to you.
No matter what happens or how—no matter who said what, did what, changed this or that—you are responsible for crafting its change into something positive.
I couldn't ever see that. That's just not something I would let myself learn. I was too busy feeling everything I was carrying. It's like I decided to carry my entire life on my back, the weight of the world resting on my shoulders. I never stopped to look at what was mine and what wasn't. I never stopped to acknowledge that holding everyone else's burdens was of my own doing. I just sat with it, heavy in thought and heavy in body, until all these things that happened to me, became me. I would tailspin over and over again until I succumbed to the challenge and I gave up.
Looking back, I should have given people the opportunity to apologize. I should have handed back their shame I branded myself with. Now I will have to try this all over again, and I will have to remember that the pain others hold, their actions and their doings are not always a reflection of me. That it is my choice to live in the shadows of another's misery.
People will always hold responsibility for what they do to you, but you are responsible for how you let it change you. There is a big difference between the two, and next time, I'm going to do my best to remember that.
Stories from the Dead.
Mediumship channels through Jamie Homeister