I had a dream last night where I was obsessively shopping for the perfect little black dress, to find the right shoes to this dress I didn't own yet; the right jewelry, the right handbag.
Over and over again I would buy items to take home and try on, just to immediately go back to the store to return them and renew my search. This dream felt like it went on forever and only when I took notice of a curtained doorway did the loop end.
I stepped through, crossing the threshold into a very common looking thrift store with flickering lighting, yellowed walls, metal shelving and junk galore.
As I moved through the aisles, I stopped in front of two, individually caged umbrella cockatoo statues situated side by side. Each bird and cage were made to scale and I took notice that the door was missing on the cage to the right.
Also on this cage, a necklace had been laid upon it made of skulls, garlic bulbs, and red, silk hibiscus flowers. It looked as though another shopper second guessed their purchase and threw the necklace over its top, but the face on the bird was proud and suggested that it was supposed to be there. There was a placard attached to its bottom that read the name, "Kahli" typecast in gold.
The cage to the left was bare in comparison, being nothing more than bars and bird. It too had a name on it but what it was I don't remember. I woke up to write the dream down at exactly 5:55.
This morning, I googled Kahli and to my surprise, I discovered "Kali the Hindu mother goddess or deity of the whole universe. Often depicted with skulls or human heads hanging from her neck, visually she can be a bit frightening but she is said to "bring the death of the ego as the illusory self-centered view of reality."
How fitting for a dream about relentless shopping in a quest to appear well and look well, only to find reference to a goddess that can help remove these limitations.
Cockatoos hold powerful significance in their own respect. When I see a Cockatoo appear,
I think of divine authority and allowing oneself to experience spiritual, and creative freedom. It's said that the white cockatoo can help free the inner self as well. In my dream, the Cockatoo had no door on its cage, giving it the freedom to leave anytime it felt ready.
I've been pushing and pushing for transformation lately. Change isn't good enough anymore because I always just change back to the patterns of what I was. When we transform, there is no stepping backwards. A butterfly cannot return to a caterpillar in this life, just as I wish not to fall into the same pitfalls displayed in new ways. I feel like I'm on the cusp of something big.
What about you? Have you been dreaming lately?