A Year of Passage
It was wonderful to sit with this woman today. States away, we connected with ease and I’m grateful for our time together.
Ancestors continue to show up on charts in big ways. I can’t help but think about my own and my personal experiences with family; all the things left unresolved.
We have such a responsibility to do right by our children. Being true to ourselves to be true for them is THE most important job we could ever do. I was never more proud of my mama then when she would pack up our shit time and time again, sometimes three times in a year, to move away from her abusers. It didn’t matter that she put us in that space to hear/witness/become the repercussions of her bad choices. What mattered was that she found the courage to go.
But I never resented my mother more than for her role as the silent figure in the chair with the dead eye stare, or the “everyday is a drinking day!” mom with the dead heart. Both were horrible to watch and live through, even though in the latter she was in a kinder mood.
I think people like to lie to themselves. Your children know when you’re unhappy.
And they remember.
And we either suffer and leave you in the dust as we age, or we suffer and become the dust just. like. you.